A scream echoes through the house as Jasu's eyes flicker open and her hands move expertly to her gun. She jumps out of bed and crouches by her door, opening it ajar slightly. Her eyes are wide open and her brain is awake. She never falls into a deep sleep anymore. Not since that day.
She shakes away her thoughts and closes her eyes, concentrating on the noises in her house. There's a distant scuffle and she hears glass breaking. She readies herself to move. Another scream. Slowly opening the door, she creeps to the stairs, waiting for her moment.
With cat-like reflexes, she jumps over her banister and falls to the ground. Luckily the sound was is down in editing, so the intruders hear nothing. Her heavy breathing also reduced to a murmur of a noise. But as the editors aren't paid enough and overworked, they allowed the creak of a floorboard as she reaches the kitchen door. She grimaces and looks directly to the camera mouthing 'WHAT THE FUCK?'. She rewraps her hands around her gun and takes a deep breath.
Just then, the kitchen door flings open and an elderly woman holding her slippers comes flying at her. Oh shit, it's an auntie. She hasn't fought this one before, doesn't know her name or what her daughter does.
The auntie holds out a slipper in one hand and clutches her chunni on her head with the other, expertly balancing her large frame as she clips Jasu around the face. Jasu drops her gun and falls to the floor. The auntie is hovering over her body, ready for the kill.
'Are you a Dr yet or No?' she screams, her eyes bulging madly.
Jasu glances across the room to her gun. The auntie notices her looking over and laughs manically.
'You couldn't even get all A's in your GCSE's, how are you going to get that gun?!'
She carries on laughing, throwing her head back. Suddenly her chunni falls off her head and she's thrown off. Her balance is no longer maintained as she scrambles to get it back on. Her tissues have fallen from her other hand and that's the last straw.
Jasu slides across the floor, grabs her gun and points it at the auntie.
'Do you even listen to Drake?' she calmly says before shooting her point blank with a tranquilizer, showing no mercy.
Jasu regains her composure and catches her breath. How did she get in here? Then it hits her. She runs to her living room and stops dead in her tracks. Staring into the corner of her room, she begins to panic. A landline is set up.
'She's here' Jasu whispers to herself. She looks out the window, and there it was: a BMW parked awkwardly in her driveway. Bounding back up the stairs, she grabs her tuxedo, array of jewelled bindis, large earrings and jumps out of her window, into an Uber.
'To the Gurdwara' she yells, as the taxi driver steps on it. She reloads her guns in the backseat and readies herself. She hasn't seen her in years. She shakes the thoughts out of her head again. The Uber skids in front of the Gurdwara and Jasu rolls out of it and backflips to the front door. She's arrived.
She doesn't go in, but instead creeps to the back. There she finds her cousins, smoking while walking in circles so the smell doesn't stick to them, clutching a can of Impulse deodorant and sharing sticks of Hubba Bubba. They stop when they see her and butt out their cigarettes, rewrapping headscarves around them. The smallest one speaks first.
'So she's here' he declares. Jasu gives him a confused look, she doesn't want him to know what she does.
'Who's here?' she convincingly replies.
The cousins look at each other and laugh.
'Your Nani!' he says laughing. They look away from each other and back at her, their faces now serious. 'You have to stop her. Before she comes for us'.
'Where is she', Jasu takes out her guns and looks at them directly in the eye. Their eyes widen and the other cousin runs towards her.
'You're not going to...you know!' she's staring at the gun in Jasu's hands.
'No you bewkoof, why would I kill my own nani, what's wrong with you?'
'She's not here', the cousin relaxes and fumbles for a lighter. 'Last time I heard, she went to Southall'.
Jasu stumbles back. Southall. 'How will I find her in Southall??'.
Last time she was here, she kept talking about the samosa's at Shahinshah's restaurant. She must be there, fuelling up for her take downs.
Jasu runs out onto the street, find someone riding a motorbike, derails them and backflips onto it. She's on her way to Southall.
After an hour of traffic and the occasional stop for gulab jamun's, Jasu makes it to the restaurant. She jumps off the bike and lets it skid into oncoming cars. She adjusts her coat and walks in slow motion as everything explodes behind her.
She crouches by the glass door, where everyone can see her and thinks about her next move. Her Nani is in there, she needs to be careful. She has to knock her out and take her back home before she does any damage. She looks through the glass door, that isn't hiding her at all, and sees her Nani fighting with the shop owners. Of course.
A few people are looking at the explosion, but their interest has turned to the explosion about to happen inside. Jasu opens the door and skids on the tiled floor towards her Nani. She turns to look at her, their eyes lock and Jasu looses her balance.
'JASIIIII' she screeches at her. She's reaching for her slippers 'ARE YOU A DOCTOR YET, OR NO?'.
Jasu backflips in slow motion, reaching behind her Nani and tranquilizes her in the butt, for comedy value. The atmosphere in the restaurant is tense. The Nani hasn't dropped to the ground yet.
'JASSSIIIII' she turns around. Everything's in slow motion now. 'MARRY A DOCTOR THEN, NO?'
Jasu shoots another one at her round samosa filled belly.
Her Nani stops and finally falls to the ground.
The crowd cheer as Jasu calls it in.
'Maa, she's down'
Jasu walks out in slow motion, everything's still exploding outside. She jumps like Superman into the air and lands on a hot air balloon. After throwing everyone out, she takes it home. Her Nani is down, the world is now safe.